Return
by moeru himura
Summary: [One-shot] A glimpse on Kenshin’s thoughts just seconds after his revival from Rakuninmura.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own RK. All credit goes to its creator, the genius Watsuki Nobuhiro- sensei.

**A/N:** A tribute to my favorite part in the manga. This is also a diversion for the frustration I'm getting from my other fic. My counter for writer's block.

**Return**

**By Moeru Himura**

One-shot A glimpse on Kenshin's thoughts just seconds after his revival from Rakuninmura.

Have I really found it? That answer I'm looking for?

Where did it all begin?

Kasumi-san, Akane-san, Sakura-san

You entrusted in me the future. You gave me a chance to see the world, a better world where I can act upon my ideals. With the cost of your lives, I live. With your parting words, I live.

As a child, you gave me hope, a hope I still carry, and a hope I will carry until I die.

You showed me what true love was. Love without preconceptions, without motives. Love purely out of selflessness, love even at the expense of your own welfare. With your actions, you instilled in me the nobility of sacrifice, that even in desperate times, the goodness in people can still flourish.

My life, I live for you.

Shishou

You shared with me your power, something I yearned for deeply. You informed me of the consequences of every action I make, especially with the great power I wield. When I didn't listen, it destroyed me. But you were still willing to teach me what I need to know, putting aside my failures, my stubbornness.

You taught me to survive, to outlast all my battles, within and without. "A sword is a weapon. Kenjutsu is the art of killing. Whatever pretty words one uses to speak of it, this is its true nature." You infused this truth in me. It saved me. I know I live to change this truth but without it, where will I be?

You strengthened the most important thing I hold on to, my belief, my strong desire to protect those I can. When I was struggling with the hitokiri in me, you almost lost your life just to make me see that there is nothing stronger than the will to live. The past is unalterable; all I have is the present and the future. You recognized my need for that strong will to live, so I can protect those around me now and for the sake of a better future.

My life, I live for you.

Tomoe

I tore your happiness and yet you returned it with the gift of my own happiness, something I had never experienced. You revealed to me the real meaning of life, the beauty of life. You let go of my crime and you exchanged it with love much greater than what I deserved. Whatever I tried to share with you, it was nothing compared to that which you had given me. The burden you must have carried just to let that fortune smile at me, even if it was just for awhile. Nothing can compare to that.

With the blood of countless lives stained on my hands, on my sword, lives with value, including the one you loved the most, you held your anger, your sorrow, just to give me a fair chance in your life. With your suffering, I live.

You accepted to be a sheath. A sheath to contain a madness beyond saving. You accepted to be my sheath, to bring the unsullied in me, the innocence left in me. You understood me the way I could never understand myself. You saw in me what I could never reconcile with myself. You allowed yourself to see things that might have scarred you for life, just to salvage my sanity, to bring back my self- worth.  
You showed me the power of forgiveness. You made me feel that everyone, no matter how tainted, is deserving of forgiveness, even someone as unworthy as I am. You brought radiance to my darkened life, my miserable life. You brought hope at the brink of my wretchedness. With your forgiveness, I claimed repentance. You showed me the path towards atonement. An atonement I will never be able to complete even if I have forever.

You gave me your life, the most precious of all. Your life, pure and unblemished. You gave it to someone who could never justify his existence. Just the thought that I breathe while you lay covered with your own blood, I couldn't and still cannot bear it. Why? For my redemption, you had to cut your life short. Such sacrifice is to be cherished for eternity. But the question remains. Why?

My life, I live for you.

Kaoru-dono

My past, it didn't matter to you. My reprehensible mistakes, they didn't matter to you. You welcomed me to your home, to your life, like I'm the most decent person in the world. But the truth isn't always what we want, what I want.

You, more than anyone, understood my ideal. 'The sword that protects', you strongly held on to it guiltlessly. You were the only one to capture its true essence because of your untainted past. It is an honor to have known you.

I vowed to protect you, but instead, you protected me. You saved me from being pulled down of my own created self- image. You saved me from myself, from that brutal side of me.

You embodied someone who could help without malice, the help that was only nourished by kindness and generosity. You personified someone whose trust in every person's innate goodness was at its purest. You even showed it to someone as unredeemable as I am. You saw my worth, even if I didn't have any. You accepted every bit of me without doubt or question. For that, I'm very grateful.

You lived trying to put the best in people. With your spirited nature, you drew people to be who they really were. With your help, I was able to choose the better me, to live my faded truth.

My past, it didn't matter to you, but because of my past, it cost you the most important thing in the world. Your irreplaceable life, needlessly taken away. For that, I can never forgive myself. For that, I deserve to die. But for your life not to be wasted, I will continue to carry the pain, I will continue to carry your vision.

Yes, I have found my answer. My life, I live it for those who offered their own.

My purpose, they led me to it.

To protect those I see with my own eyes, that is my only truth, my only purpose, the only path to atonement.

Enishi

I know I don't have any right to ask for your mercy, much less your forgiveness. With the misery you've been through, the pain which I have placed upon you, I accept completely your hatred and I deserve to be the object of your vengeance. But I will not forgo my life so easily. I will hold on to it until my very last strength. I will take freely whatever punishment you see fit for me but I will continue to live on. Live for that purpose many have suffered to protect. That is my answer.

Now…

Yahiko

Your undying trust in me has reached my truth. Even at my lowest, you still believe in me. So before you lose your life to protect that, I'm going to protect you. From now on, I will not disappoint you.

**Owari**

**A/N:** I got the title's idea from a Jewish term that is loosely translated as 'repentance' but accurately, it means 'return. When one atones/ repents, one just returns to his/ her only reality. This gets more complicated so I'll just leave it here.

Thanks for reading and please review.


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